WAMATA Police and my ride home

Posted on November 18, 2008
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Last night at around 9:30pm I arrived at the Silver Spring subway station to catch a train home. I had been hanging out with some friends having a few drinks. While at the station I had to go to the restroom and went back downstairs to ask the Metro attendant if I could use the restroom at the station. He pointed me in the direction, I went and did what I had to do and came back to wait for the train to go home.

While waiting for the train a guy was walking in my direction and I spoke. “Wassup champ” was all I said and he returned the salutation. The I asked was it cool enough and he replied “It is cold out here” and I in turned mentioned how colder it would have been if it was in Germany. So we began to just chit-chat. All of a sudden out of nowhere to white guys show up.

They flashed thier badges and began to question the guy. They asked me if I knew him and I told the officer “No”. They asked him for ID and continued to talk to him. Meanwhile a train was pulling up and I asked could I leave and was told “No” by the officer. Next thing I know he is questioning me on what was in my jacket pocket. The pocket was on the sleeve and I said nothing his partner checked and pulled out my weed.

That’s right I had the equivalent of 2 joints in a zip lock bag and the officer hollard at me to sit on the cold concrete. The officer in turn walked a few yards away with the guy while his partner stood over top of me. While sitting there I am explaing to his partner I did not know the guy and where I was coming from and how we ended up talking to each other.

A few minutes later I am being questioned by his partner but the questions were not in the form of finding out who I was but they were in the form of wanting me to say something so they could lock me up. He then told me to sit on the bench in the canope which was a marble bench and no warmer. Then another guy showed up and began to ask questions and I explained to him the same thing I told his partner.

At this point I am now feeling completely embarassed at the way they have handled the whole situation and people are standing there looking at me like I had just commited a crime. He asked where I lived and I told him and then asked where I was going and I told him home. We have now gone into like 45 minutes and I am cold. The jacket I had on was not doing the job of keeping me warm. They ask for my ID to run a check and I was told “If you come back clean, we will let you go”.

He walks away and runs the check. He comes back and tells me my name just came up as missing and endangered. WTF…is missing and endangered was what went through my cold ass head. I then inform the officer I had just spoke to a PG County officer the other day and they said they were going to clear that. See like 3 months ago I got stressed out and left home. My honest intentions were to take my life.

I slept in a park but ultimately ended up having a friend come get me and I stayed at thier place while I got my head together. During that time my wife had put out a missing persons report. So this officer was calling to do a follow-up to see if I had returned. I can only imagine if I was still missing what priority it held. Anyway the officers tone was not one of being informative. Instead he was very harsh in letting me know I need to call the police and have that cleared because they sometimes drop the ball.

Well in my mind I am thinking “Like you just did here”. SO then he says to me he was going to call my wife to verify I am not missing and I asked why. I commented “Sir I just told you the situation surrounding that”. He in turn responded to me as if I was lying. Now the whole 45 minutes to an hour that you have had me here sitting on the cold assed bench I have not lied to you about anything. I have cooperated with you and you have me here like I just robbed somebody.

All I did was say “Wassup” to the guy and a conversation about the weather picked up. No more, no less. Fuck they are really making a brother feel INHUMAN! SO after he talks to my wife he comes back to tell me they are going to let me go…OH but no before they search me again. So now they have me place my hands on the windows and assume the search position…in my head I am thinking WTF is all this for? If in fact I gave them a reason I could understand this but I haven’t. The officer checks my pockets that had money in them and I am not sure if he took any or not.

He tears open my cigarettes, goes through my wallet and asks if that is all I have on me…no needles, no sharp objects and I am like “No sir”. He then pulls out a flashight and has me open my mouth here comes a train. I am like I hope I don’t miss the next train and he is like hopefully you can catch the last one. Now I am pissed. These guys held me for 1 1/2 hours for nothing literally.

Finally they let me go. I tell the officer I have been out of work for over a few months, I am stressed from looking for a job, I am tired of being broke and my friend invited me out for a few drinks and gave me the weed for the stressful times. He turns around and says to me I am lucky they didn’t take me Seven Locks and I replied “that wasn’t going to happen”. I am not stupid. You take me in for what? Just because you found a little weed on me.

Possesion is what kind of charge? A misdemeanour. What amkes this whole situation strange was there was no papers being filled out the whole time and I was not given a citation or ticket for the weed. I was just told I could go. SO now I have to walk up the street to get a cab to go home. I see a cab pull up. I go to open the door and the guy acts like he doesn’t want to open it but does. I get in and tell him where I was going and I am showing him I can pay for the ride and he tells me he can’t do it. He is only looking for a quick ride.

He mentions the cab behind him will take me but ne nver says anything to the cab driver behind us or nothing. So I get out and go to the cab behind us. This driver rolls down his window and ask where I am going. I tell him I am trying to go into DC so I can get home but I mention the fact that I was going to the other side of Maryland and the cab in front would not take me. He opens the door, let’s me in and then has me give him $40.00 up front to cover the ride.

Okay no problem. His name was Steve and I do appreciate him taking me home but he too in some small way took a little something from me. I understand it is dangerous out here and he does have to protect himself but it wasn’t until he got the money and we began to roll he tried in his best way to justify what happened at the cab stand. I have just been basically embarrased by 4 WAMATA undercover officers who literally had no reason to bother me, they honestly did get lucky finding the weed I had.

Had I had it in another pocket they probably would not have found it. But here is the bigger question…What if I was just standing in the same area and never spoke to the guy would they have done the same thing? I mean it was not like I shook the dude’s hand or anything. We were just in the same area, waiting for the train, in a small conversation.

I don’t know about you but in many ways I felt harrased, belittled, and embarassed by 4 officers whom I felt abused thier authority. I wonder if they smoked the weed up.

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Words to remember

Posted on May 24, 2008
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Of all the thing that have ever been said about life, these words spoken by Rocky Balboa to his son in the Rocky 6 movie (whether it was a movie or not) is something for us all to remember….

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Me in Me (episode 8)

Posted on May 11, 2008
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It has been a minute since I have done an episode. In this one I talk about the changes that I am experiencing in my personal life. Most pertain to and deal with an interpersonal phase. I talk about my wife, mother and grandmother and what they mean to me on this Mother’s Day holiday. I have music by Lao Tizer, Natalie Cole, Michael Franks, Angelo & Veronica, Mariah Carey, and Antonio Neal just to name a few.

Me in Me 8 (Changes) [56:16m]: Play Now | Play in Popup

Popularity: 54% [?]

My Go-Go Show

Posted on April 18, 2008
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That’s right I have a show on blogtalk radio called “Go-Go 4 the Grown & Sexy“. It is something that is a part of who I am. It airs every Friday Night at 8pm on Blogtalk Radio (click link).

Take a listen…

Popularity: 50% [?]

My mother’s child for damn sure!!!!

Posted on April 17, 2008
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Like wow it has been a minute since I have been here to do anything. But today is one of those days where I have to put it down again.

I have been on this new job since February and a lot has been going on. Since I have been here I have had the time to think on a lot of things. Most have been on myself and where I am, what I am doing, what I want to do, and how I am going to get there. Through all of these thoughts the hardest of them all was realizing I was internally FUCKED up.

Now that is not to say I am suicidal or anything that would cause anyone to be cautious around me but I am saying in the sense of my internal emotional state now. But as I begin to think even more I come to the harsh realization that I am my mother’s child. See my mom in my eyes is also FUCKED up. But on a much deeper level. The way she deals with her FUCKED-UP-TED-NESS is to shoot up or at least that is what she did when I last heard.

Me on the other hand can become moody but more importantly I nosedive straight into work. Out of all the people and family members I have ever known my mother & I have NEVER had the kind of relationship a mother and son should have. I have never known exactly what was causing an enjoyable moment to go to the trash whenever I was around her. She was not only mentally and physically abusive to me but also to my younger sister and brother.

She had me when she was 16. By the time she was 22 I was living with my grandparents due to a beating she gave me. It was beyond the lines of abuse and damn near close to death. My sister arrived at my grandparents around the age of 3. I didn’t find out until years later why. It was told to me that she was dating this guy (which whom I was familiar with and had seen, but also knew he didn’t like my sister or myself) and he basically told her to put my sister in an oven and turn it on.

She did it. Thank God something made my mother get her out before it was too late. I do remember a night when she came running in the door of my grandparents home and ran straight to the roof. But what I didn’t know was what was her problem. And as a child that is not your business. Years later I was with some relatives and we were just talking about our family and the discussion of the relationship with my mother came up.

I merely mentioned the fact that I have always wanted to know who my father was as well as I have always wondered what it was that caused our relationship to be the way it was. One of the relatives looked at another and said “He’s old enough, it’s time to let him know”. Now internally I was hoping to get a name but instead I got a whole nother thing. The first thing I was told was I WAS NOT the first born.

She had a boy at the age of 14 but he died a few days later. I was devistated because I have always wished I had an older brother. The description of her mental state was horrific and my heart went out to her. But the brother news was mild compared to the news of how I was concieved. I was told she was gang raped at a party and I broke. I could not in my wildest dreams imagine getting this kind of news.

I made it a point to get in contact with her. It was a few days before she returned my call but when she did I made it clear I needed to see her. When I did I told her what I knew and she did not deny any of it, instead she simply responded she never told me because she felt it wasn’t important. I was like at a lost for words by her response but I did find some.

I asked her “How could she not think this was not important all of the years I have ever asked her about my father”? I then went on to say if she was putting that in the back of her mind she needed to find some help because it was causing major issues in the relationships of those that love her the most. It really didn’t seem to phase her. I realized exactly how numb she was.

And that was when I made the internal decision she was FUCKED UP. Then I realized this is why she would blame others for the issues she was having in her life. I realized this is why she could not LOVE my as a mother should, why she could never accept a compliment, why she could always find something negative about herself but never anyting positive.

Well they say certain thing are passed on through genetics and I guess I got that. I will get a compliment and do say thank you but I come down hard on myself even when others see my work as great. I have for 40 something years have been dealing with these emotions and for the most part when I thought I was through it I end up going back.

Well now more than ever I want to get through this. The most important reason is not just for myself but really for my family. I do not want my children to experience the ups and downs of this. And I am concerned because in today’s world it could possibly cause you to do something you will regret. That is why I have decided to address this. Because as much as I am proud to be my mother’s child. I am also sad and hurt to be her child.

I just want to get through this……This song is for anybody that thinks it won’t get better……..